Taking the long road

To be honest, life has been frustrating lately. Work has been better, but simultaneously overwhelming, rewarding, and stressful. I’m tired of being behind on everything I work on and drained by the feelings of inadequacy and anxiety I’ve been feeling recently about both my ability to do the job and recent job cuts. I’m also not the world’s most patient person and the overwhelming sense of God telling me to wait for a number of things in my life has left me frustrated, tired, and at times, depressed and dissatisfied.

But I got off my tail and went to chapel today, like I’m supposed to every Friday morning at work. (I generally rebel because I’ve got so much work to do or don’t want to hear whoever’s speaking. . . .not good excuses, but sometimes valid ones!) Today, the speaker was drawing from Joshua and I felt God’s peace flow over me. See, I spent the drive home from work yesterday having a long conversation with God. I told Him how helpless and frustrated I’d been feeling. I told Him about my fears, especially my unfounded, admittedly stupid fear that if I give Him everything—my dreams, my deepest desires, my talents, the things I want most in life—that I may not get to experience them. I know, it’s not rational, but it’s the way I’ve been feeling. As a single woman, there are times in my life in which I deeply desire my dream of a husband and family and can’t fight the feeling that time is running out for me. If I give God control of everything—dreams included—what if He says that’s not what He has for me?

But then there’s Caleb in Joshua 14, a man who waited 45 years to receive God’s promise. Abraham and Sarah waited until they were OLD to count Isaac’s tiny toes and fingers and immerse themselves in the joy of holding the child God had promised them so many years before. Jacob worked years to marry Rachel (then discovered it was Leah and had to work some more!) Jesus had to come to earth as a baby and face all the challenges of growing up before He could begin His ministry, then had to suffer through Judas’ betrayal, the disciples’ desertion, the torture of the cross and three days in the tomb. My point: sometimes we have to take the long road, the hard road, the road that doesn’t make the most sense to us, to live according to God’s plan. Sometimes we have to walk through hard times, frustrations, fears, and times of dissatisfaction to become the men and women God desires us to be and to achieve what He has called us to do.

But you can rest in this—even when you’re on that long road, God is right there beside you. He doesn’t desert us and He doesn’t forget His promises!