Selfish Sadness

I’m in a bad mood today. I know it. More than that, I admit it, readily. I’m not a nice person this morning. In my department, I’m known for two things: my always open office door and my music. (Well, I’m known for quite a few other things, but these ones are the most important to today’s story.) Today, my door is closed and my music isn’t to be shared since I’m listening to my iPod. It’s been a depressing music-a-thon since the beginning of today. I’ve had a steady stream of Ryan Adams, a little “Chasing Cars” from Snow Patrol, and right now, it’s Bebo Norman in the angst-filled days before he got married.

I just woke up sad today. Sad that I had to get out of bed. Sad that I feel like very few people actually listen to me. Sad that people aren’t doing what I want them to do when I want them to. I know I’m being selfish and petty, but that’s just the way I feel today. My mom would say I’m pouting, and in a few hours or days, I’ll probably agree. But right now, I’m just tired to my very bones—of work, of stress, of being behind, of worrying, of myself. I’m just melancholy today. At least I wore black today. It seems to fit the occasion. So embrace today’s Debbie Downer moment. There has to be rain to see the rainbow.